Wednesday, March 9, 2011

the perfect job

I've done a lot of thinking about the perfect job. 

I want to be a cow.  

No one would care how wide my hips are/were.  How low certain things hang.  I'd be considered to be contemplating life when I chew with my mouth open.

Not just any old cow who stands around in a feed lot all day and can't move, run or play.  I like the idea of being either a cow on an Amish farm or one of the spokes cows for the dairies.

The advantage of the Amish farms is the lack of ego involved.  Everyone works and does their best. 

The advantage of being a spokes cow is the Fame and Fortune.  But Hollywood does have a way of looking for the flavor of the month.  Remember Elsie the cow for the Borden Dairy?  She had her own commercial series for years (and she had a great necklace and earrings - not to mention the apron).  But now?  She's been replaced with the Cool Cows from California.  They go skiing, go to the beach, and they always look well tended.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...


I don't know the "Cool Cows from California" or Elsie, but it's not nice that they replaced her. But that's the way advertising works (or sometimes it doesn't … :D ). Come to think about it, we've got an advertisment cow here as well. But I really can't stand her or the song of the commercial, for that matter.

So being a cow would definitely have it's advantages, as long as it wouldn't be a commercial one, but personally I think I'd rather want to be a cat. :D ;)

You can do whatever you want to do, you have a bunch of "servants", if you bat your eyelashes a little (think of the Puss in Boots in Shrek 2), no one can stay mad at you. All you'd have to do would be eat, sleep, let the people pet you (but only as long as YOU want) and lie in the sun (or wherever else).

Your job would be to purr a little here and there, dry some tears by cuddling and occasionally bring a mouse home as a gift for your "servants" (even if they don't know how to appreciate it).

I'd like that. ;)
I admit I'm feeling a little crazy saying that, but whatever.