Tuesday, August 16, 2011

I blame it on bifocals

I stumble when I walk. I always have.  The problem used to be problems with my inner ears which lead to poor balance.

Now I blame the problem on bifocals.

In fact, I blame most things that are wrong in my life on bifocals.


Even though the distance between the top lens and the bottom is minute, the gap is just enough for me to misread a recipe, to miss a step, to misread the speedometer in my car.

Today when I lost the little dog, the new one who is so dear and so rotten, I could easily blame the bifocals. She looked just like a wadded up pile of laundry stuck on top of the bed.

Funny thing is, I hadn't put any laundry on the bed.

By wiggling the lenses down on my nose to the right spot and squinching up my nose just right, I could easily blame her 'loss' on the glasses.

It isn't a governmental quality excuse, but I'm working on it.

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