29 days of giving day 20 - 29 ... the gift of silence

Well, it might seem like I gave up on the 29 days of giving ... I didn't.  Not really.  I did allow myself to get lazy when we had internet service interruption.

What that means is, no real attempt to go to the library to check e-mail or post anything.

It doesn't mean I gave up on the project.

I do feel a bit like Scrooge.  I want to carry a bit of it around and keep it all to myself.

The project showed me more of my character flaws than I'd like to admit ... but it also showed me humanity and a need to be more humble every day.

Maybe later I'll be more like Scrooge when he discovers it is Christmas Day and he willingly shares everything with the rest of the world.


Life is a classroom.

The lessons are invaluable but only if you are willing to act on them.

29 days of giving - day 19 - organization

The piles and stacks are high and deep in my office.  The dust bunnies have become moose and then warped into elephants.  Yet here I am, oblivious to it all organizing someone else's meeting.

Oxymoron?

Probably.

I organize well inside of my head and electronically.  I can lay my fingers on virtually, no pun intended, anything I've written, read, or cared enough about to keep.  Paper thiings, well, not so much.  I recently sent a Christmas card to a friend, not because I'm early, but because I wanted to mail a real card and it was the first one I could actually find where the card and envelope matched (sort of) and no one got hurt putting the card in the envelope.  Hey, it's a real problem sometimes.




Now on the computer, I'm a different person.  Not only am I organized, capable of multi-tasking, I'm also tall, thin, about fifteen years younger than I look, and smart as a whip (then again, spell check works on most of the programs I use - it makes a difference).  I finish projects quickly and easily ... not so much the case as I look around the house and see things that might have been finished long ago.

Anyway, I blather in person and her ... I put together a nifty form for meeting minutes for someone who runs a lot of volunteers on several committees. She's a terrific person and is a lot like me - paper flies out of her hands and flutters around her office.

29 days of giving - day 18 - the gift of awareness

In the past, I've written on small (private) boards.  One of the characters I retired from that setting was resurrected tonight on behalf of Breast Cancer Awareness Month.

What's the point?

Everyone sees the pink ribbons on products during October.  They hear blurbs about Racing for the Cure and wear pink bracelets.

At some point, it becomes like Christmas. It is about the things and not the message.

So, I penned a piece they can access that is about the message (and some about the stuff), about prevention, monthly self examination, and the lives it touches that we never see or know about.

I'll never know if it makes a difference for any of them.  It doesn't really matter.  The story will exist for them on the web for years to come, for them to read or not.

I got to say my piece and get a little peace.  Saving TaTas one pair at a time.

29 days of giving - day 17 - gift of youth

So, youth really isn't a gift until a body has reached middle age.  And then how do you really 'give' something that you can see in the rear view mirror?

I'm not altogether sure.

Fuzzy decided quite some while ago he wanted to feel the wind in his hair.  A more challenging prospect than you might think since he is shiny on top.

Long ago he was into motorcycles.  Having lived in the country and learned to ride in a field, he didn't struggle with the open road until he was old enough to drive (he did the motorcycle type thing when he was about 12).

He decided a few weeks ago he was going to be into them again.

It was the last thing I wanted for him (bad history and all that rot).

I struck a deal with the Universe, if he could find training and a bike for price under a set amount of my choosing, I wouldn't be horrible about it.

Dag nab if it didn't happen.  He was the top of his class in safety school.  He found a bike (and helmet) under the specified limit.  And he bought the thing.

The real gift isn't the loud bit of mid-life crisis in my drive way.

The real gift is going to be MY silence about it.  I'll be the one with my nose in a book and my cell phone ready to dial emergency services if things go sideways.

Fingers crossed and things will work out fine.

29 days of giving - day 16 - gift of time

While I still believe whole-heartedly in NAVY (Never Again Volunteer Yourself), there are times when it is time well spent.

Actually the time I've spent playing on blogs, the internet, and listening to some podcasts on internet marketing haven't really been such a waste of time.

Today I helped a friend establish a blog with several static pages for her project at work.  Their internet provider is expensive and difficult to get a hold of.  Frankly, sometimes do it yourself isn't perfect, but it does get the ball rolling.

So today I gifted her with my time and she gifted me with an amazing lunch.  Plus I got absolved of feeling like what I learn in the wee small hours of the night might just have value after all.

29 days of giving - day 15 - more following the leader

Kindergarten was a traumatic time for me ... it was when I learned, really learned that you have to be careful who you follow when you play Follow the Leader.  When we had to line up to go home for the day, I followed the leader - all of the way to her house.

This wouldn't have been so awful except that my mom was waiting at the front of the school for me and had no idea where I went.  If memory serves, my posterior got a nice blistering after she got me safely home.

What's the point?

Since the trauma, I have gotten much more careful about the leaders I have chosen.

I stumbled upon Joanna Penn a Britt who is making her way through the maze that is fiction writing in the e-book age.  More importantly, she is sharing the wealth with the rest of us.  It seems to me that she must have taken a Zig Ziglar seminar.  He was very big on getting what you want by helping other people get what they want.

Ms. Penn has a great blog and a lengthy podcast list that she shares at no charge to her readers/subscribers.  She helps the authors/editors/creative people get their platform out, discussed, heard by potentially thousands and she gets some/many of the questions I'm certain she herself wanted and needed answered at the same time.

She and most of her guests are huge on Twitter/Facebook and the all important author's platform.  Seems I can develop them for others, we'll see how I do for myself.  So, I am dipping my toes into Twitter and Facebook ... we'll see how that all works out.

After having listened to most of her podcasts (I love my Sansa MP3 player, it's like a Timex - it takes a licking and all of that), I dropped another thank you note.

Not a huge gift, but I hope she liked it.

29 days of giving - day 14 - the voice in my head

"The older you are, the smarter your parents become."

"Let a complaint letter sit for 24 or 48 hours before you send it because once it is out of your control, you no longer have control."

"When you are in a hurry, plod."

These are just a few of the phrases the voices in my head recite on a semi-regular basis.  It seems that when I was originally told each of these axioms, I didn't get it or I just didn't want to get it.

Each of us has multiple voices in our head and all of the time.

Two years ago, I took a class in writing by someone who is smart, insightful, and diplomatic.  (Some day, with luck and a little editing of the past, I might also be these things.) Just because I'm a bit late in telling her doesn't mean she didn't have a big impact.

The teacher has become the voice in my head when I write, edit myself and/or others, judge contests, etc.  Today I realized just how much in my head she can be and quite how much space she can take up there.

I sent her a thank you note.

Technically the gift is for her because everyone should get an ounce of gratitude every now and again.  But really it is for me.  Appreciating others always feels good.

29 days of giving - day 13 - following the leader

It is no secret that I have an addiction to audiobooks.  They are amazing company when you are cleaning, driving, exercising, you know where I'm going.  Sure I read a lot, but you can't read a page here or a paragraph there when you are in rush hour traffic.  Well maybe you can, I can't.

I have followed Jennifer Crusie for a while.  Recently, she teamed with another author Bob Mayer and together they wrote some fun romantic/suspense/paranormal books.  Agnes and the Hitman was probably my favorite.

Anyway, to make a long post longer, I started to follow his blog.  He's smart, witty, insightful, and an amazing leader (being former military can do that to a guy).

For a relatively low price he has two seminars available as MP3 downloads.  Sure, I'd rather attend one and get the full impact of his presentations, but sometimes that isn't an option.

Why is this important?

Easy.

He is one of the authors to watch as publishing changes in the next several years.  He doesn't claim to have a crystal ball but he knows the trends, follows them, encourages others to do the same, and shares the information with those of us who are still at the starting blocks because we never heard the gun go off.

I did send a quickie thank you note to him after I received the seminars.

Shouldn't the money have been enough?

Probably.  But once in a while it is nice to know that you are appreciated.

29 days of giving - day 12 - a little kindness

As posted, mentioned, earlier.  The yard is going through a major transformation.  Part of the reason for transforming the yard now has to do with Major Brush Removal from our city.   Once per month, the city comes and will remove large batches of yard clippings and bagged/sealed items so the homeowners don't have to make a trip to the dump.

In the boys enthusiasm to clear the yard and get the most of our tax dollars, the pile for the city workers was high and deep.  So high that we filled their hopper not once but twice.  Had they had a bit more energy, we could have filled it three times.

Despite the fact the city offers the service as part of the utility bill, sometimes I still want to do the right thing.

A minor monetary contribution to their after 5:00 effort was made after the first load was filled.

I don't know if it did anything for them (maybe a beer or two), but it did something for me.

There are so many people in our lives every day who are unsung and under appreciated, it was nice to do something for them.  To let them know that appreciation goes beyond their paychecks.

Thanks guys.

29 days of giving - day 11 - learning something new

When are you the teacher and when are you the student?

My grandmother said, "Teach something and learn it twice."  She may not have been the originator of the phrase, but it is a handy one.

The times I have learned the most I have taught things. More times than not, I frustrate the teacher in the process.

I had the opportunity to complete my Reiki Master/Teacher credential.  A couple of years ago, I got the Master level of Reiki, but never did the final step(s) to get the teaching credential.

When the teacher arrived in my life earlier this year, I knew it was time.  We got on well.  I learned and actually didn't frustrate the life out of her.

I think the gift here was learning to keep my yap shut and let the learning flow.

Shame I didn't learn it when I was in college.

Maybe that's why my grades were poor?

Maybe not.

29 days of giving - day 10 - just saying yes

TLC has a show on Friday nights "Say Yes to the Dress" of which I am a massive fan.  I am probably a bigger fan of it because I have no daughter who is looking for a wedding dress that will set me back several thousand dollars and because I never went through the trials and tribulations of trying a bunch of dresses on.

Saying Yes is actually the big deal here.

Being willing to say Yes and go forward can be a massive step in any direction.

not my yard ...

I will never be P. Allen Smith (from PBS garden show) and be enthusiastic about garden work (read weeding and weed control here people).  I do however appreciate a yard that is more or less free of volunteer plantings.  So, I donned my ugly shorts, a borrowed baseball cap, my old and scratched sunglasses, and oversized leather gloves and got to work on one small section of yard.



After about an hour, my yard service of one was doubled.  Then boyfriend no. one showed up an hour later.

Three hours, a pizza, a six pack of beer, and most of the detritus in my backyard was ready for major brush removal.

How is this saying "Yes" to anybody?

Hubby asked if I wanted a little help.

I said yes.

When the two boyfriends each called to shoot the breeze with hubby, he told them what we were doing.

I said yes to each and all.

I'm not quite sure who got the gift, feels like me, but I think they all got something out of it, too.

29 days of giving - day 9 - connection

I'm the first to admit, and not proudly, that I have let more than a few people disappear from my life.  It usually isn't intentional, it is more like muscle atrophy.

Luckily for me, muscles have memories and so do many friends.

Somehow, someone very special strolled back into my life.  He is one of my 'boyfriends' without being one of those boyfriends.  Hubby wouldn't approve of a real one, if you get my meaning.  While I had missed him, I figured he had his own life and was going in a new direction.

We rediscovered each other in the parking lot of one of those big box stores.

He's back and I'm thrilled.  I hope he's ok with it, too.

29 days of giving - day 8 - the gift of joy

Paraphrasing the Christmas favorite, "Do You Hear What I Hear?" I hear success for someone special to me!

She has gone through several life changes (some voluntarily, others - not) and she smells of the all important rose.  She has gone through a lot of muck and mire to obtain that sweet smell.  No one I know more deserves it than she.

So, my small gift today was sharing in her joy at a fabulous life change and a new success.

To some, this might not be a gift - to me it is.  Actually she gave the gift to me.  She trusted me enough to share the trials and tribulations that have led to this new direction.  I don't know if we would have shared the moment a couple of years ago.  I'm thrilled we were able to do it now.

My hat is off and the loud, off key cheering you hear from the stadium bleachers is me!

Congratulations.

29 days of giving - day 7 - glasses

The other day, I decided to clean out my dresser.  I found an amazing number of things I had no idea I owned or just how long they had been living in my drawers!

Among the debris I found several pairs of glasses and a set of pearls.  (The pearls were the perfect length for the new dog and she likes them. All young girls need a strand of pearls, right?)

The rule of thumb has always been to hold on to at least one pair of old glasses in the event the new ones are put into harm's way (or in my case in the event someone sits on them and breaks the frames - but I digress).

There was no way I needed eight pairs of glasses as 'back ups'.  I'm not that forgetful about where I put them and I no longer leave them on the seat of my car, so no one has sat on them lately.

Today, the Lion's Club was gifted with several new to them pairs of glasses.

I feel better about having de-cluttered and I hope that someone gets the gift of improved vision.

29 days of giving - day 6 - the doll

 A couple of years ago, my mom acquired a compo baby doll.  The kind that actually had a voice box in the body so she could cry the word 'mamma', and yes, the eyes even opened and closed. Just looking at her, you knew some little girl loved her with all of her heart. You can just tell when a doll has been loved.

The doll was well past her prime when she showed up on Mom's doorstep.  Sadly, yours truly couldn't see much beyond the damage.  Fortunately, Mom could and did.  Then again, she has always been able to see beyond the first impression.


There were large gaps at every seam, and the crazing on the face was so bad I never thought she would survive.  There were sections of compo missing from the back of the head. 

Pessimist, that's me.

Eventually, after much internet research and a couple of trips to the hardware and beauty supply stores, I took on the project of closing the gaps, sanding the rough edges and sealing the crazing. (Really fine nail buffing blocks did amazing things with the back of the doll's head.)


Then I dropped the ball and didn't finish her ... just left a somewhat smooth, much cleaner doll in my living room.


I do love ACE hardware stores ... our local store had a supply of Benjamin Moore paint samples, 2 oz. bottles, for a song.  So, hobby paint sprayer, a dozen bottles of paint, and two days later, she was more or less restored to her former painted glory.  I say somewhat because she didn't turn out to be her original color (neither complexion nor hair), but she was finally finished.

The moral of the story? 

Little girls who love dolls seem to love them even as they get older.  Phoebe, as she has been dubbed, has been returned to her rightful owner.

I think she is as loved now as she was by her first owner.

29 days of giving - day 5 - technology (old)

I have a friend who has a great heart and a skinny wallet.  She has been in need of a new-to-her computer for quite some time. 

In the spare room, there has been a homeless and no longer loved computer just waiting for someone to love it.

I loved it, initially.  Then again, I've been told that I'm a bit conditional.  Besides, a couple of years ago, Santa gave me a laptop for Christmas.

Today I finally got myself in gear and gave my friend that which she has needed and been patiently waiting for.

I hope it is a love match that will last a bit longer for the two of them.

29 days of giving - day 4 - the dog park

The young, the athletic, the stubborn young dog has decided it is time to do some training of her newly acquired humans. 

She walks like a cat on a leash.  Lots of swivel and hip action (if she were a human it would be apparent that she preferred high heels and short skirts).  She also likes to go where ever her nose leads her and she doesn't care if she pulls to get there.

Rides in the car where she is kenneled somehow didn't appeal to her.  She doesn't just want to be in the driver's seat, she wants to help steer the car.  Sadly she likes to drive on the left side of the street and not the right ... she could have had another career.  The kennel was incorporated when she got tangled in the wheel and only the fact I was driving on a quiet and empty residential street saved an accident.

Blondie does well at the park, but now he has to have aspirin a couple of hours before he goes.

The Golden Girl isn't so sure how she feels about other dogs in her park.  (She went one time when no one else was there so she claimed all of it.)  She is starting to make friends.  She is also behaving like a kid who doesn't want to go home when Mom says time is up.

The gift to her is socialization.  The gift to the blond is extra meds for his hips.  The gift to the humans?  Fresh air, an extra walk, our own socialization.

29 days of giving - day 3 - donation to charity

Did you know that consigning your clothes is a lot of work?

Did you know most consignment stores only want perfect, nearly new (as in no more than a couple of seasons old), designer pieces?

Did you know I own almost nothing like that?

There are times when I thank the storage gods that I don't have a very big closet.  Then again, there are times when I curse those same gods because I have no attic and no basement.

By having a relatively small closet, I am forced to go through the bowels of my closet and remove items that just aren't right anymore (and some items that are old enough to be in middle school survive year after year). Said items are donated to shelters that give the clothing directly to people in need.

When I filled the black garbage bag, hubby asked if we wouldn't just go to a local thrift store that supports those same causes.

Nope.

I shop in those stores (I'm thrifty and I never have cared if my clothing is this season's latest and greatest). 

Selfishly, I want my donation to count and mean something.

I felt better about me and my place in the universe as soon as the bag was in the back of the car.

I know I'd feel even better about life and my place in the world if hubby would only let me go through his goodies and donate from his side of the closet!

29 days of giving - day 2 - ecards

Once upon a midnight dreary, I used to see myself as somewhat responsible for keeping the post office afloat.  I wrote (read typed and then later printed from my computer) notes and letters to family and friends.  I wrote somewhat regularly ... the habit was drummed into me as a child and the lesson(s) was/were well learned.  Them that writes letters, gets letters - usually.  So my best friend in college didn't always remember to write after she got a letter, she would write volumes a couple of times a year.  They were worth the wait.

I hold myself partially responsible for the problems with the post office.  In the past four or five years, I have gotten slovenly about writing actual letters and began sending e-cards and far more e-mail than in the past. 

In the more recent past, my slovenly behavior has gotten even worse and I haven't even sent out many e-cards.

Again, them that writes (letters, notes, cards, blogs) gets acknowledgement down the road.

I fired up an e-card program to which I have subscribed and wrote several cards to my nearest and dearest.  When I say several, read about 15 cards and more than that as recipients.

I am working on thoughtfulness and remembering important things ... now I am just doing much more of it electronically.

29 days of giving - day 1

For all of my growing up years, I had a second family of sorts.  I loved so many things about them including the fact they had their own mascot.  Quincy.  How many people adopt quails and allow them to live in the house with the family?

Why does this matter? 

Easy.

Quincy's old nest periodically needs someone to look in on it and make sure things are going well.  (The nest is still visited from time to time, but has no permanent residents save the jackrabbits in the yard.)

Thursday I discovered one of the agave plants was failing and some screens needed mending.

The agave I can't do much about, but I can let Quincy's sister know that the plant was either failing or had been vandalized.  (It was failing and she knew.)

How is this a gift?

She can't check for herself and I'd rather check in when there is no cause and all is well than just show up for an emergency.

some days we are all a little bent

The gift is small, but I'm working my way back through things.